RYAN DENNIS

A dodgy-looking drifter in a visor hat gives Kevin Costner a tiny lime tree and insists, “This one is for free.” Kevin Costner stares at him blankly and then epically states: “Nothing’s free in Waterworld.”

“Now look at the sitting room. Big sitting room, big sitting room. Very comfortable. Look at the couch there. Go ahead and sit on it. And look at the light. Lots of light, those windows. Now look at the kitchen.”

I’ll admit to being proud when someone would look at my shirt and start laughing, or say ‘Huddersfield? Why?’ I didn’t care. We were beautiful and ironic and Huddersfield fans. There was only one thing left to do: go to an actual match.

Ronan puts his hand on my shoulder. “Ryan,” he says. “Do you have the soul inside you?”

“Hey, man, have you tried climbing?”

I cringed. I was getting a second master’s degree in Iceland, and University Housing had placed me in a dorm.

The world is smaller than it was several generations ago. It is often said: If a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, it could cause a tornado in Texas – suggesting just how globally connected our existence can be.